Will the real Matt Currey please stand up!!
If you were to read my blog or meet me in person I think you would find me quite a positive person. I am by nature an enthusiast and an encourager. I love that quality and I love that quality in others. Its winning, its drawing, it makes we want to be with people like that and reflect that more and more in my life. The Olympics have been a prime example and I am glad that I was able to embrace the games with so much enthusiasm, energy and positivity in a way that our nation and indeed the world seemed to. It was fantastic.
A good friend pointed out to me that my use of the word ‘brilliant’ was one of the most regular features about my blog. I am proud of that! I want to be positive, to be an encourager, to champion things where they need championing.
However in being honest and courageous, I am going to have to admit that I don’t always feel and think so positively as I can sometimes come across. I am certainly not advocating that I want to or feel inclined towards cynicism. That would feel like I was just killing off my natural and inbuilt ability to be positive and encouraging and seek to see the good in people, situations and life in all its fullness.
However what I am advocating and seeking to embrace is a realism and the courage that enables me to face honestly into challenges, issues, difficult relationships and seasons and moments of great pain. I am looking for the courage to be more genuine, empathetic, open and to embrace things in a way that is authentic. I’m aware that there have been times and seasons in my life where I have sought to do this or journey in this and times where I have backed away out of fear.
So Yes I want to be able to stay positive and an encourager when I can and when its authentic.
But I want to grow in the art and skill of being honest and real in my struggles, in difficult relationships, when questions arise that don’t have easy answers, with my family, friends and colleagues. In times of great laughter, energy and creativity but also in times of sadness, frustration and struggle.
I honestly feel that I have hidden away in me and towards others the ability to challenge, speak truth in love and speak critically. I am grateful to the many people who are my friends, family and colleagues who love me for who I am and for what I bring to things. But I want them to know that I have this side to me that is crying out to be more real, more edgy, more authentic, less fearful and less positive when I am not always able to encourage.
I want to encourage, cheer, champion and be positive. But I also want and need to get angry, ask questions, have doubts, weep and speak more truthfully. It will enable the real Matt Currey to come out and stand up and be counted.
The Psalms, Ecclesiastes, Jesus weeping and getting angry, what people have modelled to me and many others things scream out to me for the need to be real and honest.
I’m hungry for reality. I’m hungry to encourage, to accept and to welcome. But also hungry for being more real.